Lake Texoma

Because Life is Better at the Lake

Internet Mating, i.e., Looking for Love Online in Texoma

by
Lumini Services
Kendall Davis is well-versed in the English language. She has 20 years experience as a published author and writing for clients. Her published works include historical articles in museums, magazines, newspaper articles, columns, content marketing, advertising copy, blogging, and academic papers. Kendall also makes her way in the literary world as a copyeditor. Writing about history is her first love interest. If you have editing or content needs on your website or for your books, articles, blogs, or columns, please visit her website to see details and more examples of her work, the services she offers, and contact information. http://kdavis1836.wixsite.com/luminiwrites




I don’t always have ideas on subjects to write about for LakeTexoma.com (especially when I wait to the last minute). I just start typing in Google and something always comes to me. This time, I typed “Female Business Owners in Texoma” in the Google search box. Google’s paid ads show up in the first few results. I kid you not, only one paid ad showed up, and then texoma men seeking women, texoma women seeking men, and texoma business/commercial appeared next, all from craigslist.


To be fair, a bunch of other unrelated business results came after the craigslist links, but the first two presented me with the idea for this article. I have no experience in actual online dating, so I am more of an observer. Have you read any of the forums about online dating sites? Horror stories abound from men getting clunked on the head and robbed to rapes and murders. A lady I saw on a TV interview show instructed her audience on how to make the most of their online dating dates. After going over a safety checklist, she actually said that ladies have to kiss a lot of frogs and must go on frequent dates in order to find her “prince”. One man I know plans internet dates only for coffee. He goes on four to six late-night dates a month and claims coffee dates make it easy for him to get out of them fast.


Wow! Really? How much money, time, and energy do you calculate you might spend if you want to online date? Be sure to add in the monthly subscription rate at about $60.00. You must cruise your dating site(s) often, check your notifications regularly, and some people may check those many times a day. If you don’t want to waste your days off on a very risky time investment, you get off work, get ready, figure out what to wear, how to look, how to act, where to meet, and if you go on a lunch or dinner date, that’s at least another hour. Who pays? If a single adult advertises on a free site like craigslist or Plenty of Fish (POF), does it mean they’re cheap or poor? If you reside in Texomaland, you may not have reliable internet or internet service at all, like me.


I can’t pragmatically or logically see spending time on internet mating because to me, the whole concept reeks of hard-core foreign elements —I am 58. On two of the free sites, POF and craig’s list, people mostly look for someone in their area, or not more than an hour away. I believe on the subscription sites you include your zip code in your application. I took the plunge and read the craigslist: Texoma ads.


My first reaction was to write most of the people advertising for a mate to explain to them how my services as a copy editor and public relations coach could increase their responses. Most people, including me, will describe themselves as how they think other people view them and not as how other people see them in reality. How many people do you know, whom you consider of bad character, that told you the first time you met them that they were constantly broke, a serial liar, a pedophile, a sociopath or psychopath, a manipulator, a gambler, a thief, an abuser, an ex-con, or possessed any other malicious character traits? Milosz Dunikowski says it best, “We can’t really describe ourselves–because we believe our own lies”. *


I tried to find a common denominator between internet mating and Texomaland. What stands out in the free, online, personals of craigslist: Texoma that screams “Texomaland”? I focused on the listings that required a long-term relationship (ltr), and I read 20 male and 15 female ads of all ages. Twenty ltr, female ads didn’t exist on that day. I found nothing unique, just the usual lifestyle aspects common to lake and rural areas. I tried to submit a Plenty of Fish profile for an investigative journalism piece, but they wanted a picture of me.


To do investigative journalism, I feel the journalist needs to be as authentic as possible. I don’t have an up-to-date picture, and my current eight-year old picture on LakeTexoma.com doesn’t convey authenticity, plus I would actually have to go on a few dates. The POF website coaches you on how to format your profile to receive the most responses, and many websites advise internet maters on how to write a terrific profile.


However, this subject matter inspired me to think about how people present themselves socially for a specific purpose online, like meeting someone in Texomaland who also wants to pursue an ltr, by writing a profile. It also inspired me, as a communicator of the written word, to write what I would say in a social profile about myself.


Many of us keep up with personal Facebook pages, and we post all kinds of things for our families and friends that exhibit what we do and think about. But, postings on Facebook or other social media sites do not equal written profiles that help you close that successful first date, meaning the date that leads to many more dates with the same person. It is simply sales plus the economic theory of supply and demand; you desire something only a human interaction can supply, so you sell yourself to acquire that something. A professional resume or CV can land a good job, so it makes sense to use the same method to secure a good relationship.


Questions to ponder: If you don’t right now, would you consider online dating? For those of you who do, how do you present yourself in the best light possible? Do you add some of your negative qualities to your profile so people don’t think you’re unbelievably perfect? How is dating in Texomaland different than dating in Dallas, Oklahoma City, or Ft. Worth? Does living in a two-state region make a dating difference? What is your favorite activity for a first date in Texomaland?


As for me, I say no to internet mating. My closest friends tell me that I shoot straight, I don’t like nonsense, and that I speak my mind whether the situation is positive or negative, so yes, I would add some of my negative qualities. I traveled all over the U.S. for many years, and regional dating differences do exist. In Texomaland we enjoy two different cultures, plus thousands of tourists, which seem to collide and mix well. I am writing my social profile and sharing it with my close friends for critiquing which is my way to write an honest, objective self-profile. It might or might not match who I think I am, so it becomes a good exercise in self-realization, but it won’t end up on craigslist, and there are plenty of real fish in our lake.


*Why is it so Hard for People to Describe Themselves: https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-so-hard-for-people-to-describe-themselves/answer/Milosz-Dunikowski#


http://hellogiggles.com/learned-writing-peoples-online-dating-profiles/


https://letterpile.com/writing/how-to-describe-yourself


 


 


 


 




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